Growing up, I had a fantasy of love, crafted from the idealized portrayals in TV shows and romance novels I watched and read. However, when reality hit, I was left reeling in disappointment. My notion of love was perfect, flawless, and deserving. But the truth was far from it.
In my fantasy, the object of love must be deserving of love, be flawless and worthy of love. But reality revealed a different narrative. I discovered the object of love is often flawed, frail, and broken. That even my desire to receive love was tainted by my own inadequacies. I wondered: Was love only for the worthy? Was I cut out for love?
But then, love showed up, unexpectedly. The model love, and with him, a new perspective. Love, I realized, is not about deserving or being worthy. It’s unconditional, a gift that comes when we least expect it.
I recall the story of Joyce Meyer, who, despite being severely abused and feeling undeserving of love, found redemption in her husband’s unconditional love. His prayer was not for a perfect partner but for someone he could help.
This challenges our conventional views on love. We often seek perfection, someone who completes us. But true love reveals our own brokenness and unworthiness. It’s in this vulnerability that we discover the beauty of unconditional love.
Love humbles us, stripping away our pretenses and revealing our true selves. It’s a risk, a leap of faith into the unknown. But it’s in this surrender that we find the freedom to love and be loved, not in spite of our flaws, but because of them.
The Thorny Beauty of Love is not lost on realistic love, unlike that of my fantasy.
Love, like a rose in full bloom, is a breathtakingly beautiful thing. But, just as roses have thorns, love has its own set of prickly challenges. There are days when the insecurities that creep in like shadows on the wall threaten to suffocate us. The doubts that whisper “what if” and “maybes” can be overwhelming, making us question the very foundation of our love.
But here’s the paradox: it’s precisely in these moments of uncertainty that love reveals its true strength. It’s not the absence of thorns that makes love beautiful; it’s the willingness to brave the thorns together. Sacrifice, in all its forms, becomes the bridge that spans the chasm between our fears and our desires.
To love is to forebear, to make room for the messy, complicated, and often painful journey that love entails. It’s to acknowledge that love is not a static state, but a dynamic process that ebbs and flows like the tides. And it’s to trust that, despite the thorns, love will ultimately prevail – but only if we don’t give up on it.
So, let’s not be afraid of the thorns. Let’s lean into the beauty of love, even when it’s messy, complicated, and painful. For it’s in the midst of these challenges that we discover the true depth and resilience of our love.
Asem oo